Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
