So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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