69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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