Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
