Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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