he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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