i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
