That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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