It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
