im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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