once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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