When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize