Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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