69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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