real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
