Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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