you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
