Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
