Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Who did Billy Mays play for?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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