i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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