The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
