They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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