what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
