We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
