yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
