Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
