Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
