in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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