No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
