Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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