Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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