hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
