Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
