Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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