I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
