foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
