i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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