You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
