She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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