Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
