I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
