Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
