Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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