Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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