can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm passing your future prison.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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