Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He? As in you personified your dick?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
