are you so shy because you have an std?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
