i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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