# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
