hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
