i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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