its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
