if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
