I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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