Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
