The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
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It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize