his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
