So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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